Walk Through the Fire
by Celeistic
Summary: There comes a point in everyone's life when they find out the hard way just how strong they are. Ethan was never sure if his was ever going to come with his friend Berlin around. Her protection over him was a steel barrier. Yet, an old enemy returns and strikes in an odd mannerism. The point in Ethan's life has finally come and he's not so sure he's ready to walk through the fire.
1. A Picture With No Frame

She was like a work of art. But not the kind of art that held a deeper meaning. She was the kind that was just as it was and there was nothing more to that. She was a painting of a beautiful sunset that seeped through leaves within the trees of a forest. The title of the painting? "Sun Setting on Forest", because that's all it was. And was meant to be. Did the painting catch everyone's eye? No, because sometimes blunt isn't what people like. So, if you knew her name it's because she caught your eye. And she drew you in. She walked over to you and told you hello instead of you having to do it, and thank God she was the one that did it because you were so nervous you were a pile of..well..nerves.

Her name was Berlin. Often I just called her Bebe. But her full name was Berlin Rose, because before moving to Whitechapel she had been adopted by a family of the last name Rose. She hated her last name, so, she after a year of knowing me she adopted my last name. If anyone referred to her as Ms. Rose she would snap at them that she was Mrs. Morgan.

However, she didn't move to Whitechapel with those people. No, she moved to the small city located in (basically East Jesus nowhere) Canada at the age of fourteen trying to get away from the family that had adopted her. Most people at that young of an age, move to New York City because they aspire to be a kid on Broadway. That's not how Berlin wanted it though. So, she moved to the city that seemed to be the quietest and the most unassuming place in Ontario, Canada.

I remember that day very clearly as well.

* * *

I stood on the side of our house throwing a baseball at the wall, not out of boredom, just because that's what I like to do. Anyway, it was a crispy fall afternoon. A very beautiful day, not too cold.

I began to hear someone driving down the road and I stopped to look for a moment. I watched as a minivan began to pull up into the driveway to the house next to mine. It had been on sale for a good while. I expected to see a moving van right behind, but there wasn't one.

With a confused expression I watched as a girl stepped out of the silver colored vehicle.

She had a small, cute pale face. With a small button nose, light pink lips, and almond-shaped bright honey-brown eyes. She had kind of short, dark blue hair that was just an inch or two above her shoulders. It was kind of messy and unkempt, but I didn't judge her. Mine was just as messy. She wore a jumper that was black with red, yellow, and green stripes. It also look a little too big for her. She also wore dark black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees as well as black converse. My conclusion of her appearance, she was cute.

I watched as her gaze swept around the area before suddenly connecting with mine. I flinched a bit actually, because it startled me so much. I felt as she slowly looked me up and looked me down. Before I could process it, the blue-haired girl was making her way towards me. She stopped about three feet away from me. Her honey-brown eyes were much prettier close up, and I could even see that she had tiny freckles.

"Hello," her voice was soft, it was sweet. I felt my body relax at the sound of it, I knew if I listened to her at night I would fall asleep.

"Hey," I breathed, the air in my lungs had been trapped and when I spoke it had finally released. I had not even realized it. My chest burned slightly.

"I'm Berlin, do you live in this house?" She introduced herself as well as questioned me. I nodded my head in response before speaking,

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Ethan." I introduced myself. I watched as she stepped even closer and held out her hand, for me to shake. A proper greeting.

"It's nice to meet you too," she sighed wistfully. "How long have you lived here?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"My whole life, if you don't mind me asking: where did you come from?" I responded.

"Boston, Massachusetts." she answered, I felt my eyes widened. She was a long ways from home, where was the rest of her family? Why did she come alone? These questions buzzed like honey bees in my mind, but none of them left my mouth just yet.

"Do you like it here?" Berlin wondered, her gaze connected with mine for a bit before traveling to our surroundings once more. A small breeze blew and shook some brown leaves from the trees.

"Yeah, I do..if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" I bubbled, maybe she was eighteen and she had moved here to begin University, but even I strongly felt that it wasn't the case.

"Hasn't anyone told you not to ask a lady her age?" the blue-haired girl hissed, it made me jump for a bit before I watched as a small smile spread across her face. "I didn't mean to scare you there, I was just joking. I'm fourteen, how old are you?" Berlin turned the question on me.

"Thirteen, but I'll be fourteen in November." I admitted, I watched as she nodded her head in acknowledgment.

"If you don't mind me asking.." before I could finish I watched as she held up her hand and shook her head, her brown eyes disapproving.

"You don't have to start off your questions like that anymore," she informed me firmly, her soft voice, although still soft now sounded more solid. Like a soft roll of thunder as a storm passes. With wide eyes, I nodded my head in agreement that I would no longer do that.

"Now, ask." she briskly told me.

"Where's your family?" I stammered. I expected her to become offended and not answer, but her expression remained calm and sleepy almost.

"Boston, Massachusetts." Berlin muttered, I watched as her brown eyes grew to have a disgusted glint to them. As if she were remembering a gross memory. I opened my mouth to ask my next question, but she held her hand up once more.

"It's a long story, but I really need to begin unpacking things. I'll either tell you as you help me, or I'll tell you later. Your choice." the blue-haired girl suggested. "I'll help you," I declared. Not for the sake of hearing her life story, just for the sake of helping.

Because I liked her.

* * *

And over the years, as our friendship blossomed from a simple green bud into a beautiful pink carnation. I found myself loving her. In fact, I love her so much I would give her the universe if I could. I would bottle all of the galaxies, planets, stars, and all and gift it to her if I could.

Also, I had watched as Berlin blossomed into a beautiful person.  
Her hair changed a few times and she grew a little bit in height.  
But as the years rolled on by, I began to see her as a complete human.

She was adventurous and compassionate. She was free-thinking and genuine.  
Humorous and imaginative.  
She was kind and loyal. She was protective and trusting.

Her personality was filled with a rainbow of good traits. I could never name them all.

But just because I love her dearly doesn't mean I don't accept her bad traits.

Sometimes,  
she can be aggressive. She can be very anxious as well.  
Too reactive and forgetful.  
She can be too blunt. She can be too independent.

But even though these are bad traits.  
I don't love Berlin any less.  
Actually, I love her more, because this means she has substance.  
She's not trying to cover up her flaws to seem perfect.

I've seen her transform into a beautiful person  
with many different traits.  
And I still love her to death.

Over the years, we had some crazy adventures as well.

Like the first time Berlin met Benny was one night when she climbed through my window one night to ask if I wanted to accompany her on a late night journey around town, and scared the absolute shit out of him. So much that he threw my Xbox controller and fell off my bed. We all three ended up walking to the complete other side of town at two o'clock in the morning and then having to journey another two hours to get back home where we all fell asleep on my bed. Luckily, my parents loved Berlin and didn't mind she was there.

Or there was a time when during freshman year, one of the football players was bullying Benny and I. After a week of keeping it from Berlin, she found out and that Saturday night she spent it pranking the football boy. She rubbed poison ivy all over his car. Dyed all of his white shirts pink. Texted his girlfriend saying that he had a three inch dick, and finished it off by gluing fake eyelashes to his eyelids.

And then, there were the subdue adventures. The calm ones.

Where she would climb through my window into my room and ask if we could go for a drive. And we would. Despite the fact that she drove a lot, she didn't like to. Berlin preferred to be driven, and I liked to drive her. I liked to watch as she put her feet on my dashboard, so laid back. I liked to watch as she pulled out her phone and set the music. Whatever song played first, that set the true mood for the drive. I liked to listen to her ramble about this and that. The blue-haired girl loved to talk about the universe and life.

Other times, Berlin would climb through my window, knowingly knowing that I was just about to go to bed and she would come to cuddle with me. She would just come to lay in bed with me. I would often face her and have my face pressed into her shoulder as she stroked her fingers through my hair. Sometimes, it was because I was having a bad night. Other times it was because she was having a bad night. But there was also the occasion of her just doing it. Her justification: "Because I want to show you even at three o'clock in the morning, I love you."

Perhaps, you're wondering if this all lead to a relationship later, and I mean. It does, don't get me wrong. We definitely ended up together, but even when it was officiated it didn't feel any different. We didn't act much different, same amount of cuddling. Same amount of laughing. Same amount of kissing cheeks. Nothing was much different.

But at this point, the relationship hadn't happened yet.

Actually, you're probably wondering even more why I keep talking about this girl.  
Why is she so important? When are we going to get into the actual meaning of this story?

Well, I guess now is a good time to explain that:  
Berlin Morgan is the mother of my child.

Which actually, doesn't sound like a real reason to be telling this story, because really we all know that story right?  
The guy doesn't mean to get the girl pregnant, and there's the conflict of him staying with her. Or whatever.

Well, that's not this story, because:

I didn't get her pregnant.  
She wasn't ever pregnant.

I was.

Perhaps, that's a better reason to tell this story?  
If you answered yes, then good.

I'll begin telling it then..


	2. To Start An Endless War

It was an April evening.  
A Friday evening in April, and like all Friday afternoons we sat in Bebe's living room. We sat on the old red and white plaid couch, all of the pillows that had once occupied the couch were pushed to the floor, like always. The television was set on Netflix thanks to the Xbox One and it was set on American Horror Story: Murder House for background noise. We had already played video games like Halo and Minecraft, now we just sat on the couch relaxing with one another. Benny was sat up right while Bebe leaned against him, and I laid myself on Bebe, her legs were on either side of me. My head rested on her shoulder as her fingers combed through my hair which was nearly putting me to sleep.

The world outside the little house had become dark and silent. These were the moments I looked forward to the most during a long week at school. I looked forward to just hanging out with my two best friends. They really were very precious to me.

On the television the scene was currently the dead blond-haired boy, Tate, talking to the blonde-haired girl, Violet. I wasn't really paying attention to what was being said between the two characters, I was more or less in an in between state of awake and sleep.

This peaceful atmosphere was soon interrupted by a loud banging on the front door.

I felt Bebe jump up, I quickly lifted myself off of her, and moved over so that she could bring her legs together before standing up from the couch and rushing over to the door.

Benny and I peered over the couch to see that our vampire companion, Sarah Fox was standing at the door. Her eyes had a hint of yellow left in them and her fangs were bared over lips that were twisted down into a concerned facial expression.

The two of us rushed off the couch and to the door to stand beside our blue-haired friend.

"What's going on, Bebe?" I questioned, looking down at the girl. She turned her head up at me and connected our gaze together, her honey-brown eyes showed just as much concern.

"Jesse's back," she breathed. I felt my eyes widen. It had been several months since we had first encountered Jesse, stopping him from releasing the souls of ancient vampires to come and take back Whitechapel to make it into what it used to be.

I shook my head of my thoughts, "Well, what are we doing just standing here? We need to get out there!" I declared.

"Um, who said you were coming along?" Bebe hissed, her honey-brown eyes flickered like flames of a fire with determination.

"I did! Come on, we fought him last time together, and we were fine! We can do it again!" I interjected. I knew the blue-haired girl was just trying to protect me, but I wasn't about to let her do all the protecting. I definitely wasn't about to let her go out there on her own.

Not too mention that Berlin didn't possess supernatural powers, I mean she was really good in combat and if she were to be place in the Hunger Games she would definitely come out the Victor. She was good at bow and arrow, throwing knives, climbing trees, etc. She just didn't possess any actual supernatural powers. And sometimes being Katniss Everdeen wasn't going to be enough to throw off someone paranormal.

"If it's anything like last time, they'll still come and get into trouble. We might as well let them help from the very beginning." Sarah pointed out. I glanced between her and Bebe; I watched as Bebe sighed before nodding her head.

"Alright, come on, we need to get going. Sarah says he's in the forest, behind the vampires' fortress on Eden Hill." the blue-haired girl informed us as we walked out into the cool night. I shut the door behind us. We walked out onto the sidewalk and looked around.

"We're going to need to hurry, I want to get rid of him before the council finds out and makes a huge deal." the dark-skinned girl murmured. We nodded our heads in agreement.

"Let's get to running then," Bebe affirmed, her voice that was often soft and sweet was now firm and almost like a lion's roar. If there was one thing that amazed me the most about Berlin it was her ability to immediately focus. To immediately lock in. Almost like a police dog on the hunt for a missing person.

Before any of us could really process it, the honey-brown eyed girl took off running down the street. The silver moonlight illuminating her tiny figure. The black hood of her black jacket bounced behind her. I shook my head, because there she went. Being the hero she didn't need to be.

We began to race after her.

* * *

The forest seemed to be endless. As if it were an entire world on it's own. The dark wooded, tall trees loomed over us and gave us the realistic sense of exactly just how small we were in the universe. But of course, this was definitely not the time to have an existential crisis.

I watched as Bebe quickly pulled out one of her many throwing knives. It's dark gray blade glimmering menacingly in the silver moonlight. I also watched as her chest heaved in deep, slow breaths. If I had to say Berlin was any animal, she would definitely be a tiger. Just standing next to her, I felt how tense her muscles were. I felt her power. Next to her, I was simply house cat. Sure, I could catch a mouse every once in a while, but I was also scared of my own reflection in the mirror.

Without warning, the blue-haired girl raced into the brush of the forest as well as Sarah. Benny and I shared a gaze with one another. The light-haired boy gave me a nervous smile and I gave him back a small one before we rushed in after our girls.

The forest was silent except for the sound of our feet pounding against its soft floor. Leaves crunched beneath our feet and bushes were smacked out of the way by our legs.

Soon enough, our run was cut short as we exploded out of the brush into a small clearing. The clearing was completely clear. It looked almost man made from how perfect the grass seemed. I looked around and became afraid. You couldn't see anything beyond the first ten trees that surrounded the clearing. Was Jesse even here anymore? Had he already made it to the vampires at the council? Why was he here? Back so soon.

Everything was silent once more except for our breathing.

Then the brush around us began to rustle. I turned and looked at Bebe, I watched as she bent her knees and her grip tightened on her knife. I then turned my gaze at Sarah, her eyes yellow and her fangs bared over a scowl. I then looked at Benny, his dark green eyes glimmered with fear but his face held concentration. His mind going a mile a minute getting ready to shout out some spells, I knew.

And then I turned my gaze forward, staring into the dark abyss that seemed to be a universe. Simply infinite.

Suddenly, the brush gave one last loud rustle before out stepped four figures. Three of those figures stepped so that they stood directly in front of Benny, Sarah, and Bebe. The last of the three figures, the only one I recognized, was Jesse and he stood directly in front of me.

"Well, I can honestly say I didn't expect for you four to actually come looking." Jesse claimed.

"What do you even want?" Sarah grunted.

"Yeah, we've hidden your precious box, and it's definitely nowhere near here." Bebe growled.

"Oh, that old thing? I don't need that anymore." the black-haired boy declared all too happily.

"Then what is it? Why did you need to come back here?" I asked. My heart pounded inside my chest.

"Oh, I just need you four..dead." he barked and I watched as his ice-blue eyes flashed yellow as he stared into my dark brown eyes and he bared his fangs at me. I felt the breath leave my lungs and before I could even think, I turned and ran.

There couldn't have been more for me to do other than run. I couldn't just try and fight him. That's not how fighting a vampire worked. He was much stronger than me and much faster.

Yet, the realization of him being faster didn't kick in until I was about ten yards away from the clearing. I could still clearly hear the fighting that was going on, but other than that. I was alone.

Which baffled me, because, he was a vampire. He was faster.

So, where was he?

I heard the world around me move and whipped around to see that the vampire now stood in front of me no more than three feet away.

"Where's your little Katniss Everdeen now?" Jesse hummed before stepping forward grabbing me by the neck before I could jump out of his reach. I closed my eyes and breathed in, knowing that this was the end. I couldn't do anything. I was a simple house cat and Jesse was the wolf.

I felt something sharp stab me in my left arm and I gasped. My vision began to move, everything suddenly becoming as if I was looking at it underwater. Jesse released my neck and pushed me to the ground which hurt much more than it should have. I bit down on my lower lip to keep from groaning.

The world around me grew black.

* * *

It was almost like I had fallen asleep and that's how I wish it had been. Just a simple sleep. Except it was more of being in a coma, because although everything was completely dark I could hear everything around me. The wind blowing the trees' leaves. My heart slowing down its beats. It was peaceful almost. If only my skin would have stopped crawling as if there were a million tiny bugs underneath it.

"Ethan! Ethan!" the familiar voice of Berlin Morgan rang in my ears and rattled my bones. I slowly opened my eyes, sleep glossed over them. Blinking violently until it cleared, I then found myself staring into those beautiful, honey brown eyes that brought me so much comfort. They glistened with panic and worry.

"Are you okay? What the fuck happened? Why did you run away? I didn't see anything, because one of Jesse's whores came after me." Bebe quickly explained to me. I sighed deeply before propping myself up on to my elbows. I looked around to see that Sarah and Benny were right beside the blue-haired girl.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Jesse personally came after me and I dunno, he stabbed me with something. I couldn't really fight him so I just sort of ran. What else happened?" I asked, I noticed that there was now a long scar running from the side of Berlin's forehead down to her chin. Blood stained her pale skin. I reached up with my hand to touch, but she didn't even flinch. Even though I knew it hurt. That's how Bebe liked to play. Like she wasn't hurt, just to spare me concern.

"Not much, Jesse came back to the clearing and told his little gang to clear out. And that's what they did. Then we came searching for you." Bebe clarified. I nodded my head in understanding.

"Can you get up? What hurts?" the blue-haired girl asked softly but briskly. I pulled myself into a complete sitting up position, but suddenly felt my stomach twist. I gritted my teeth together and let out a sharp sigh.

"I can get up, but slowly. And my stomach hurts a lot." I answered. Bebe nodded her head, I watched as she stood to her feet and held her hand out to me. I grabbed onto it and slowly she helped me to my feet. The sharp pain in my stomach still had not resided, but I stood up straight anyway. I didn't want to alert Berlin.

"Come on, let's get out of here." she mused, she moved our hands so that our fingers were now interlocked.

Slowly, we made our way out of the forest.  
Little did I, or any of us, know that troubles still laid ahead.


	3. And I'm Filled With Doubt

You know of the people out there.  
The people that are really into keeping our Earth a beautiful place, and although many get annoyed at these sorts. I don't. I completely understand, because I see Ethan just as they see the Earth. Something precious that needs protecting, because it can't always do it on its own.

His dark brown eyes are like the trunks of tall, strong pine trees in forests that have yet to be harmed by humans. His pale skin is like the white sanded beaches that most people can only fathom of seeing. His stature is like a flower. He's delicate but he is strong. His voice is like the songs of the birds in the orchid on a summer's morning. Touching him is like touching a butterfly, you have to be very gentle.

To me he was the Earth and I needed to do all I could to protect him from becoming withered and disgustingly plain.  
And from the moment I met him, I knew that's exactly what I had to do.

That was three long but somehow short years ago. The supernatural stuff didn't start happening until we were sophomores. Which made it increasingly more difficult to protect Ethan, as there was more danger as it was no longer just jocks bullying them.

But I wasn't going to let that stop me.  
I wasn't going to let Ethan get hurt.

Except, sadly, every hero has their failure...

* * *

I watched with anger boiling my blood as Jesse and his bandits vampire flashed themselves away. The dull, burning pain of the scratch that now resided on the side of my face didn't phase me anymore as I whipped around the clearing looking for Ethan. Benny and Sarah were picking themselves up and brushing themselves off. Yet, there was no sign of the dark-haired boy. The other two picked this up as well.

"That way," Sarah declared, pointing to the forest behind us. Thank God for her super sense of smelling. I nodded and dashed off, the thundering of our feet seemed to echo off the seemingly empty world.

There, lying on the cold, wet forest floor was the small pale boy. His body seemingly motionless. Quickly, I sprinted to his side. His eyelids covered those beautiful brown eyes I've always known. My heart raced at the thought of never seeing them again.

I placed my hand on his chest and breathed a sigh of relief when I felt the faint beating of his little heart.

"Ethan! Ethan!" I shouted, shaking him slightly in attempt to wake him. We needed to get out of the forest. Even if Jesse was long gone, there was bound to be something else lurking.

I watched with anticipation deep within my bloodstream as his eyelids flickered and opened. Revealing a hazy gaze, but an alive one. I breathed out another sigh of relief through my nose.

"Are you okay? What the fuck happened? Why did you run away? I didn't see anything, because one of Jesse's whores came after me." I quickly explained to the dark-haired boy. He sighed deeply before slowly lifting himself onto his elbows. I followed his eyes as they examined my scar. Ethan reached up and touched it. The burning pain returned, but I kept myself together. I didn't need Ethan worrying that I was hurt.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Jesse personally came after me and I dunno, he stabbed me with something. I couldn't really fight him so I just sort of ran. What else happened?" Ethan asked.

"Not much, Jesse came back to the clearing and told his little gang to clear out. And that's what they did. Then we came searching for you." I clarified. The younger boy nodded his head in understanding.

"Can you get up? What hurts?" I asked softly but briskly as I watched Ethan pull himself into a full upright sitting position. He breathed in sharply and his nose wrinkled as if he were cringing in pain.

"I can get up, but slowly. And my stomach hurts a lot." He answered. I nodded my head, I stood to my feet and held my hand out to him. He grabbed onto it and slowly I helped him to his feet.

"Come on, let's get out of here." I mused, I moved our hands so that our fingers were now interlocked.

Slowly, we made our way out of the forest.

* * *

"Do you want to stay the night, Sarah? You're more than welcome to." I told the brunette-haired girl. I watched as she shook her head as she gave me a small smile. There was exhaustion in her hazel eyes.

I nodded my head in understanding, "You take care of yourself," I encouraged. She nodded her head in understanding as well, I watched as the vampire turned to the Spellmaster. The two brunettes gave each other a hug before Sarah flew away.

Benny and Sarah had a thing for each other. You really had to be blind to not see it. And Benny and I were best friends, I knew all about the little hang out sessions they had during the week. I think that perhaps if I hadn't come along, Ethan would have fallen for her. That thought made me scowl. Sure, the dark-haired boy wasn't officially mine, but I considered him mine.

"Why don't you just ask her out already?" I questioned the taller boy as I held the door open for him to come into the house.

"Because I don't know if right now is the best time, we've talked about this before, Berlin." Benny murmured with an eye roll. I narrowed my eyes at him before shaking my head as I shut the door. We walked into the living room where Ethan currently was sitting on the couch.

"You know, there's never really a right time. Especially with us. With a town like this, there's never a safe moment. So, I say fucking go for it before you're dead. Or undead." I pointed out. I watched as the brunet-haired boy breathed deeply and shook his head with a small smile on his lips before sitting down on the couch beside Ethan. I sat down on the floor in front of the dark-haired boy.

He stared down at me with those pretty dark brown eyes. I smiled at him and Ethan smiled in return.

"How do you feel?" I asked, he didn't seem to be in much pain anymore as his chest rose and fell at a somewhat normal tempo.

"I feel better," Ethan murmured, nodding his head slowly.

"Rate your pain on a scale from one to ten," I informed him.

"Two," he answered quickly and surely, I nodded my head in understanding. I watched as Ethan's little pink lips opened wide as he stifled a yawn that sounded like a puppy's yawn. I felt my heart swell with love and I smiled once more.

"Rate your sleepiness on a scale from one to ten," I commented.

"Eleven," Ethan laughed. I stood to my feet.

"Come on, you two, let's go to bed." I coaxed them. The two boys stood to their feet as well and we made our way around the corner and to my bedroom. We kicked off our shoes, changed from jeans down to boxer shorts, and climbed into my queen sized bed.

I laid in the middle, Ethan was to my right and Benny was to my left.

"Goodnight babies," I whispered, turning to my right and pressing my face into Ethan's shoulder. I felt his hand reach and give my hair a stroke before simply resting on the small of my back. I felt Benny press himself into my back and bury his face in between my shoulder blades.

"Goodnight, Berlin," the two boys muttered quietly, soon enough the room filled with silence as we fell into an all too peaceful slumber.

* * *

It never got old, waking up next to Ethan. Waking up to his soft snores. Most times I woke with him cradled in my arms with his face pressed into my shoulder. Sometimes, it would be me in his arms and my face in his chest. That morning, however, I held Ethan.

The clock beside my bed read 10:00 a.m. I sighed, even though school was coming to a close I couldn't ever stay asleep until twelve. I could feel Benny's back pressed into mine and I could feel Ethan's breathing on my shoulder.

These were the moments I lived for. The moments I craved the most.

I laid the moment reviling in the current situation. With a heavy sigh, however, I lifted myself into a sitting position and carefully set Ethan's head down on a pillow and off of my stomach where it had previously rested. I then proceeded to crawl off the bed and go to the kitchen to make breakfast.

The clock on the wall read 11:30 by the time I heard any sort of movement. There was the small noise of pattering feet on carpet which soon transitioned into hardwood flooring as the dining room came before the kitchen and then the pattering made it's way onto the tile of the kitchen.

"Good morning, Benny," I murmured, not even having to turn around to see which of the boys it was. Benny had heavier footsteps than Ethan, Benny's drug across the floor more in the morning. Ethan's footsteps were like a dancer's almost. As if he were always walking on his toes, making his very light.

"Morning, Berlin." the light-haired boy muttered in return, I felt his arms wrap around me into a behind hug as I placed strawberries into the small blender I owned. I had already made the food and it already sat on two plates. The boys had two pieces of toast, three pieces of bacon, and scrambled eggs. I never ate during the morning, it was too early to me. So I always just drank a smoothie consisting of: milk, strawberries, blueberries, and raspberry yogurt.

"How'd you sleep last night?" I asked the taller boy as I leaned against the counter and took a sip of my drink. I watched as he picked up his fork and took a bite of his eggs. You'd think since I lived on my own and payed good money for the furniture I had in my dining room, that we would eat in there more often. Well, that's how it was for the first year, but after that we just resorted to standing and eating in the kitchen.

"I slept good, I had a really weird dream last night," Benny commented. I rolled my eyes, because this was an often conversation starter in the morning. Which would make you think, "Oh, maybe it's just the same dream happening," and all that. No, it was never the same dream. It was always a different one. Sometimes, I wondered what it was like to be inside the light-haired boy's head.

"Well, let's hear it." I encouraged him to begin telling his story. He opened his mouth to begin, but there was the soft pattering on the carpet that distracted my attention. I looked towards the entrance of the kitchen to see a sleepy-eyed Ethan walk in and join us.

"Good morning, Ethan." I purred, he walked over to me and wrapped his arm around me before pressing a kiss to my head.

"Good morning, Bebe," the dark-haired boy muttered. I watched as the boy removed himself from me and walked over to his plate that sat on the counter. He looked down at it for a moment before suddenly turning to the sink and vomiting. The sudden movement and retching noise made me jump backwards a bit. Once I composed myself I walked behind Ethan and began to rub circles along his back as he continued to throw up.

It was weird, I thought. Ethan never really got sick. I mean sure, everyone got a cold at least once a year, but Ethan never really contracted anything like the stomach flu. It was odd to me and as hard as I tried to convince myself that it wasn't anything much to worry about. I did, and that might seem like just normal anxieties, but for some reason it felt like this time I actually had something to be worried about.

Soon enough, Ethan was finished, clearly having nothing in him anymore to throw up. He frowned before turning on the water to flush out the sink. The dark-eyed boy then lifted himself into a standing position and turned to me.

"I'm sorry about that," he sighed, I shook my head before walking to the wall, grabbing the towel, and running it underneath the sink water. I handed it to Ethan so that he could wipe his mouth and so he did.

"Don't say sorry, that's like the first time you've ever puked in this house, and literally every time I've come to your house drunk I've puked." I pointed out in a laugh. The corners of the boy's light pink lips rose into a small smile and they parted to let out a breathy laugh as well.

"Do you feel okay? What do you suppose set you off?" I questioned Ethan.

"Yeah, I feel okay. Like despite throwing up, I don't feel that terrible. And it was the smell of the food. It doesn't smell that great." he commented. I narrowed my eyes, because nothing smelled bad. Unless I was suddenly going crazy and losing my sense of smell, I didn't smell anything other than forest, because the three of us failed to take showers last night after our adventure.

"Does it smell bad to you too, Benny?" I wondered turning towards the light-haired boy. I watched as he shook his head while continuing to eat. I narrowed my eyes in thought once more, so, was it Ethan going crazy? I thought.

"Berlin, calm down, I can see the wheels turning in your head. What are you thinking about?" Benny asked, but his voice sounded distant to my ears. I looked up into his emerald eyes with my narrowed, brown ones. I bit my lower lip as I was in deep thought, because nothing in my head was clicking to clarify to myself that it was an illness Ethan was experiencing.

In fact, the only thing that added up to what was happening was pregnancy..

 _"Yeah, I'm okay. Jesse personally came after me and I dunno, **he stabbed me with something**. I couldn't really fight him so I just sort of ran. What else happened?"_

No, no, it couldn't be. Why would it be?

"Berlin!" the sudden shout of my name brought me into reality, Benny now stood directly in front of me, little to no space between us. His beautiful, dark green eyes shimmered with concern.

"You've literally been standing there for like five minutes not saying anything and just staring into God knows where. What's wrong?" the light-haired boy interjected.

I looked to my left to see that Ethan now sat on the counter, his dark brown eyes glimmered with the same amount of concern as Benny's. His gaze was directed at me just as well.

"Do not follow," I ordered the younger boy before turning back to the taller one and grabbing hold of his wrist and dragging him into the living room.

"What the fuck is going on?" he hissed, I let go of his wrist and looked him dead in the eyes. I watched as his posture seemed to shrink back, he knew from my gaze that I needed him to be quiet and listen.

"Benjamin Weir, do you know of any detection spells?" I began.

"Detection spells? Well, yeah, but there's different types. Like specific ones. There are cancer ones, illness ones, pregnancy ones. Etc. Why?" Benny replied. I inhaled deeply and exhaled sharply. My heartbeat had escalated, and I was only telling Benny. I couldn't imagine breaking news like this to Ethan.

"Remember when Ethan said Jesse had stabbed him with something? I think it was a fertility potion..." I clarified. I watched as the older boy's eyes widened until they were almost the size of the moon.

"You really don't think...why..why would he do that? What would be the purpose of that? You really don't think that.." he stuttered.

"I don't want to think so, but I really do think so. I don't know what the purpose of that would be, but I don't think right now is the time to worry about those questions." I affirmed. Benny nodded his head gingerly.

I nodded my head in return, without another word to each other, we walked back into the kitchen where our little boy sat patiently. Those pretty, dark-almost-black eyes immediately connected with mine and I felt my heart crumble.

Sadly, every hero has their failure..


	4. Leaves You Broken Instead

One of Bebe's many guilty pleasures was reality television.  
There were times when we'd spend our Saturdays lounging in my room watching Keeping Up With the Kardasians or Say Yes to The Dress.  
And there was the occasion when she would turn on things like 16 and pregnant or Teen Mom.  
She would always comment about how that was never going to be her,  
and would attribute it to either one of three things:  
1\. she didn't like sex/didn't want sex.  
2\. No one would reproduce with her.  
3\. She didn't want kids.

You'd think, me, being a guy, I'd get really upset hearing she didn't like sex.  
But I didn't want to do Bebe. I just wanted to love her. I wanted to give her lots of affection and nice things.  
I just wanted to treat her like a princess. Although, I had thought about having kids with her before.  
And the thought made me smile and my heart skip a beat.  
I always thought Bebe would make a great mother.  
She was so caring and loving towards Sarah, Benny, and I.  
I thought surely she would be towards a child.

Anyway, she would always comment about how that was never going to be her.  
And I never thought that was going to be me either, someone to get someone pregnant at 16.  
Yet, the tables turned themselves on me.  
It went the other way around.  
And I wasn't even sixteen.

* * *

I cocked my eyebrows in confusion at what just happened, having just watched Berlin violently drag Benny out of the kitchen. I could hear their voices in the living room, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. It worried me, because moments before Bebe had simply been standing there. Just staring. What was she thinking about? What was she suddenly telling Benny that she wasn't telling me? The way my head hurt thinking about it told me it was definitely not good.

Soon enough, the light brown-haired boy and the blue-haired girl walked back into the kitchen. Benny looked shaken almost. Bebe looked anxious, which was not an uncommon thing for her, but her anxiety seemed to be relevant. (Not that it was ever irrelevant, it always was, but this time it seemed as if her worries were over something actually happening instead of a hypothetical problem).

I watched as Bebe stepped forward, walking over to where I sat. She rested her elbows on my thighs and took my hands into hers. Her gorgeous, honey-brown eyes stared directly into mine. They were filled with so much worry I felt as though I was drowning.

"Ethan," she began, her voice was back to being it's usual soft melody. Just as always, I felt myself immediately relax at the sound of it.

"Ethan, you said Jesse stabbed you with something last night, right?" Bebe questioned, I nodded my head in response.  
"Did it feel like a needle or did it feel like a knife?" she beckoned, "Needle," I answered quickly. I watched as her chest rose and fell drastically as she sighed.

"Ethan, I think, last night Jesse injected you with a potion...a fertility potion." Bebe informed me, her facial expression suddenly became exhausted. As if right then and there she was going to fall to the tile floor and pass out. I held onto her hands a little tighter, to comfort her.

Then, in my brain it registered:  
A fertility potion.

I had the possibility of being pregnant.

I couldn't even really take care of myself! I thought to myself.  
What would my parents say?  
How would I go to school? Could I finish school?  
What if Benny and Berlin didn't want to stick around?  
What if I ended up alone?

Bebe didn't want kids, would she leave me because I was having a kid?  
Was I going to keep the kid? Was abortion possible? Could I even go through with abortion?

Questions raced through my head a mile a minute.

"Ethan," Bebe's sing-song voice brought me back into reality. I shifted my gaze down so that I was staring into hers. I hadn't realized it until then, but my eyes had gone watery with tears. I watched as Bebe lifted her hand and stroked it across my cheeks, I assumed tears had already begun falling. Looking into her pretty honey-brown eyes I found concern had replaced worry.

"Ethan, Benny's going to perform a detection spell on you, okay? So, we can see if that's what we're dealing with here." Bebe declared. I let out a shaky sigh, not having even realized that the breath had been caught in my lungs for so long, and nodded my head. Bebe stepped back and let go of one of my hands. I hopped off the counter and we walked over to the living room. The blue-haired girl sat down on the couch and beckoned me with her hands to lay down with my head on her lap. As we waited for Benny to come back downstairs with his spellbook, Bebe began to pet my hair. I felt my bones almost unwind at the feeling.

"I love you, little one." she mused. I loved it when she called me little one. Despite being quite taller than her, I was indeed younger, so I was indeed the little one. Plus it just sounded really cute. I smiled. Bebe's presence was simply enough to comfort me and I loved that about her.

"I love you too, baby." I replied softly. We exchanged smiles before sitting in silence as she continued to stroke my hair.

Soon enough, the sound of feet coming around the corner were heard. I felt my heartbeat begin to pound once more in my years. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to know the truth.

"Sure took you a long time to find that thing, Jees, how messy is your bookbag?" Bebe scolded playfully, I looked up to see Benny and watched as he rolled his emerald eyes with a small smile on his face. His hands clutched his infamous spellbook. He got onto his knees beside me where I laid on the couch. My heart began to pound more and my hands began to shake.

"Ethan, I'm not trying to be so forwardly gay, despite how adorable you are, but I'm going to need you to lift up your shirt." the light-haired boy instructed with a laugh, I gave him a small smile in return knowing my throat was not going to work, and I did as I was told.

Benny opened up his spellbook to a page that he had enclosed his thumb on. He raised his right hand and held it above my abdomen. I felt myself suck in air, as if I was storing it in my lungs.

The green-eyed boy murmured words that to my ears were incoherent. I looked down at my pale stomach for a moment before closing my eyes, not wanting to see what was going to happen.

Silence settled over the room, but it wasn't a comfortable one.

"Oh, shit." Benny was the first one to speak. His voice was quiet and breathy. I breathed in and out shakily, almost having forgot that I needed to do that. Every nerve in my body told me not to, not to open my eyes, but I did. I had to.

My once pale, white stomach was now a faint pink color. I immediately pieced together that this meant I was indeed pregnant..and I was having a girl.

"D-does that mean?" I wondered, shifting my gaze to look directly at my best friend. He connected our gazes together. His were filled with a sadness that was so foreign in those green eyes that I had just assumed they could never look so dark. Benny nodded his head in response.

"You're pregnant...and you're having a girl." he echoed my thoughts out loud. I felt tears prick in my eyes. No, no, this couldn't be real. I thought. This had to be some kind of fucked up dream, oh, how I wanted it to be.

I realized suddenly that it had been a while since Bebe had spoken. I directed my watery gaze up at her to see her seemingly staring off into the distance. Her honey-brown eyes were dark but cold. Emotionless it seemed almost as if she were dead.

"Berlin," my voice was small, weak. It was pathetic and it hung in the air like smoke. I watched as her head slowly turned so that she could focus clearly on me. Once her eyes made contact with mine, they were immediately filled with tears. It took me aback a little bit, it had been a long time since I had last seen Bebe cry and it made my heart break.

She lowered her head and touched her forehead to mine. I closed my eyes for a moment and then I felt someone grab my hand, it was Benny's, I soon identified. His hand was more rough than Berlin's, also bigger.

"I'm sorry, Ethan, I'm sorry. I promise I'll never leave you alone again. I'll never leave you." Berlin whispered. Her voice was soft, as usual, but it cracked. It seemed to crack underneath the weight of the world.

She pressed a kiss to my head before simply letting her forehead rest on mine. None of us spoke as we all simply sat there taking in what had just happened.

I certainly didn't know how to take it in.  
I was pregnant.

I was one hundred percent carrying a child.

The same questions from earlier began to race in my head.  
But then,  
a thought entered my head.

If Jesse had been the one to inject me with the potion,  
did that mean the child was his?

Could I carry his spawn? Would my mentality let me do that?  
Would my mentality let me have an abortion?

I groaned as all these thoughts shot my brain, making it hurt. I felt Berlin lift her head off of my head and I sat up, but still held on to Benny's hand. I directed my dark gaze down at the light-haired boy.

"Benny, how does the fertility potion work exactly?" I wondered. The green-eyed boy grabbed a hold of his book once more and flipped towards the back of book. His eyes scanned up and down, up and down, until they finally came to a stopping point.

"It says here that the potion can either be ingested or injected. It takes ten minutes to settle and the first person who touches you within that ten minutes is the person that is the other parent of the child." Benny explained.

"That means Jesse's not even the father," Bebe's voice wasn't as soft anymore, it was sharp. It was like the crackling sound fire made as it burned wood. We both turned to her.

"Jesse wasn't there anymore. If he immediately injected Ethan, then came back to the clearing, and left with his gang. Then he's not even the father." she pointed out. I felt my eyes widen, because she was right. I hadn't even blacked out for that long before her, Sarah, and Benny had found me. So, Jesse couldn't be the other parent. But..that also meant..

I felt my heart stop.

"Then that means you're the other parent," Benny affirmed my thoughts.

I watched carefully as Bebe's facial expression switched from in charge to blank. It was back to nothingness. As if she were dead.

Did she want to be dead? Was she going to leave me now? She didn't want kids.  
She didn't want kids, I thought.

Suddenly, she stood up from where she sat on the couch.

"I'm just going to go out for a moment, okay? I promise I'll be back. I promise." she murmured, her blank facial expression was now one of panic. It was one of fear. It made my skin crawl, because I never really saw Berlin fearful.

I watched as she turned and walked towards the door, once I heard it shut, I felt the tears come back to my eyes, but immediately they began to fall. I felt Benny climb onto the couch and wrap his arms around me in an embrace. I buried my face into his shoulder and sobbed.


	5. What is There to Fear?

Berlin had left the house at 12:30.  
It was already 4:00 and she was still not home.  
Where was she? Was she lying?  
Did she not mean it when she said she'd come home?

As these questions raced in my head, I began to bite at my nails. There was silence, between Benny and I, but he still remained at my side. His hand rested comfortingly on my knee.

I watched carefully as the digital clock that sat underneath the television ticked over to every minute that passed and still no Berlin.

The hour seemed like eternity,  
but soon enough the clock ticked over to 5:00.

Suddenly, the doorknob on the front door began to twist and it shot open to reveal the blue-haired girl. Her hair and clothes were disheveled. Dirt coated areas of her her black jeans. Her black VANS looked like they were falling apart even more now. She also had her bow and arrows strapped to her back. Her honey-brown eyes looked just flat out exhausted. Some dirt was splattered on her pale face like freckles.

Before I could say much, Benny had jumped up from his place on the couch and marched over to where Berlin stood firmly.

"Where the fuck have you been? For someone who's really into protecting, you're not doing so well at it right now. Do you know Ethan's been sitting here worried sick about you? If you were ever even going to come home. What do you have to say for yourself, Berlin?!" Benny's voice boomed and echoed around the room, it startled me for a moment. I've seen Benny mad, for sure, but I think this time he was furious.

I shifted my gaze from the fiery, light-haired boy to the blue-haired girl. Her eyes didn't show even a flicker of fear and her posture remained tall. As she spoke her voice remained firm,

"I went out into the forest to look for Jesse. I thought maybe he was still lurking around and that if I could catch him, I could kill him. Unfortunately I never found him. I took so long, because I walked until I reached the river." she informed Benny.

"I was going to kill him before he could do anymore damage to us. To Ethan." Berlin continued, her voice had reached a low point, almost so low that I couldn't hear it.

"Also, don't you think I know I've sucked lately at protecting him?" her voice had jumped a surprising much in volume. It didn't startle me as much, however, because like I said before. Bebe could be aggressive, she could be really aggressive. So, I've seen her furious before.

"I don't need you to fucking tell what I've done wrong lately. Don't you think I know? For fuck sake's Ethan's pregnant, and it's because of me. Not only did I not watch out for him, but I touched him. So, now, it's my kid in there. Me going out and seeking Jesse was my attempt at making it somewhat right. But that didn't work either. I know I suck right now. Don't fucking tell me shit that I already know." she growled. Her honey-brown eyes were now as bright as the sun and burned with white, hot anger.

I looked back at Benny who no longer held an expression of fury. His bright green eyes now showed sorrow and sympathy. We both knew that he really hadn't meant to get so mean with the girl. Sometimes, that's how Benny and Berlin clashed. Berlin was ambitious and Benny was stubborn. Berlin wanted to do things on her own sometimes, but Benny just wanted to know what it was all about. She failed to inform him that, and that's what makes him angry.

The light-haired boy opened up his arms and enveloped the blue-haired girl in his arms. Her posture changed as she stood up taller and it almost appeared as if she was going to shove him off of her, before suddenly she shrunk back. She melted into his embrace. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed.

I felt my heart split into two. Berlin was so caring. She just wanted us to be safe. Even if her motives were a bit blurred sometimes. She knew what she was doing, and she was just doing it to protect us.

I stood up from where I sat on the couch and walked over to where the two stood in the living room. Benny turned to me, and slowly he let go of Bebe and stepped back. Letting me take his place. The blue-haired girl adjusted, as I was shorter than Benny, her head rested more towards my shoulder rather than in the middle of my torso like when she laid on the taller boy.

Her tears began to soak my shirt and I held her even tighter.

There was a long moment of silence between all three of us before I felt her pull her head off of my shoulder, I looked down, and watched as Berlin wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her black jumper. I tilted her head upwards and used my thumb to wipe tears across her cheeks. She gave me a small smile and I did the same.

We went and sat down on the couch; Benny sat down on the ground in front of us.

One thought had failed to leave my mind:  
Berlin didn't want kids.  
Did that mean she was going to leave?  
Did she want me to get an abortion?

"Berlin," I began, surprising myself when I said her actual name, because I rarely ever said it. It felt foreign on my tongue. She looked up at me with those pretty, honey-brown eyes and in them I found nothing but affection and readiness.

"Berlin, I know you've never really wanted kids...does that mean you want me to get an abortion?" I questioned. I jumped out of my skin as I watched her eyes immediately fill with shock, her hand also slapped itself onto mine as well. I looked away for a moment before looking back at into her brown eyes to find that they were narrowed and darkened. This look meant Berlin meant business.

"Ethan, I am both appalled and saddened that you would even begin to think that I would want you to get an abortion. Sure, I may have never really wanted kids, but I have thought about it before. Having kids with you, and with you I've made an exception. But even if I didn't really want kids, I would never ever want you to do something you didn't want to do. I would never ever tell you to get an abortion, unless that's something you wanted to do. But let me ask you, is that something you want to do? Do you want to have an abortion, putting away the fact that this is our baby. Do you want to?" the blue-haired girl spoke.

"No," I responded, so quickly, but I was sure. "I don't want to have an abortion. I don't think I could mentally handle that. Even knowing that it's not an actual living thing yet. I don't think I could. So, no." I continued. Berlin slowly nodded her head in understanding and agreement.

"Does that mean you want us to keep it?" she asked softly. Her honey-brown eyes held a different emotion in them, an emotion that had the base of sadness, but it wasn't exactly sadness.

Then I began to think.  
Could I put our child up for adoption?

I looked deep into Berlin's eyes and I thought back to all that she ever told me about being in an orphanage. I thought back to how she told me she was adopted three times in total, and none of them liked her so they always sent her away. I thought back to how she looked when she first arrived. How she was skin clinging to bones. How tired she looked. How she moved as if there was a never ending ache inside of her.

What if that ended up being the life of our child?  
Could I live with myself knowing that that was a possibility for them?

No, I couldn't.

I began to shake my head vigorously.  
"I don't think I could give up our child knowing they have a possibility of... I couldn't finish my sentence. I didn't want to sound offensive, because it wasn't as if Berlin was broken because of the situations she had been put through. She was just fine the way she was.

"Ethan, not all kids end up the way I did. You have to think, are we fit enough to take care of a kid? Can we provide a loving family for them? If the answer's no, then we can't keep them just because they are our kid. We have to think about what's best for them, even if that's being with a different family." Berlin pointed out.

I began to think again.  
Could we take care of a kid?  
Can we provide a loving family for them?

Berlin already had a job and I could definitely get a job as well. We could make one of Berlin's spare rooms into a nursery. I knew I would learn to love our child, and I knew Bebe would too.

"I think we can," I muttered. I watched as Berlin fluttered her eyelids over her eyes for a moment before nodding her head with a small smile. I returned her smile with one of my own. She grabbed my face with her hands and gently pulled me closer so that she could press kisses to my forehead and cheeks.

Benny cleared his throat, "Also don't forget, I'll always be here for you two. I'll even get a job to help you two support the baby. But even if it's just moral support, I'll be here. I promise."

I felt my heart swell with love, the light-haired boy could not be a sweeter person. Having been friends with him since we were six, I sometimes forgot to appreciate his friendship, but I really did. I really appreciated it.

"You're precious, Benjamin Weir." the blue-haired girl purred, stroking her hand down his cheek gently. She then lent over and pressed a kiss to his forehead as well. The three of us shared smiles and the atmosphere around us seemed to finally relax.

This also made me realize just how tired I was. I could see it in the eyes of my friends as well that they were just as exhausted. Yet, the clock underneath the television only read 7:00.

Benny stood up from his place on the floor and moved himself to the couch beside Berlin. He pressed himself against her and I took the liberty of pressing myself against the brown-eyed girl as well. I felt Bebe wrap her arm around my back and her hand come to rest on my stomach.

Slowly, but surely the room was filled with the soft snores of Benny and the slow breathing of Berlin. I was the last one awake, watching as the clock slowly ticked away at each minute, but I no longer watched it with an anxiety. I just simply watched.

At one point or another, the light-haired boy shifted himself and his hand fell upon Bebe's which still remained on my stomach.  
And I knew that I didn't have anything to worry about anymore, because I had two people who I knew for a fact were not going to leave me.  
I had no reason to worry about being alone.


	6. A List of Bad Habits

I have a lot of bad habits.  
There's a long list of them.

My nail polish is always chipped because I like to pick at it.  
There are scars on my hands because I like to scratch at them.  
If I ever have a pen in my hand I'm either clicking it or chewing it.

But perhaps,  
one of my worst bad habits is how I never let go.

Every bad situation that has ever happened takes a hold on me.  
It glues a part of me in that moment and it never lets me go,  
and therefore I cannot let it go.

I'm still mad at that football boy bullying Ethan and Benny when we were in the ninth grade.  
I'm still mad at the first family that took me from Norway only to put me back in an orphanage.  
I'm still mad at the other families who took me only to give me up once again.  
I'm still mad at my birth family (wherever the hell they are) for not giving me a chance.

And all of those things?  
Happened so long ago,  
and here I sit, a grown ass adult.  
Still mad about it all.

I just have a problem letting go.  
It was on the list of bad habits.

* * *

The digital clock underneath my television told me it was 4:00 a.m. when I woke up.  
Ethan and Benny both had shifted in their sleep. Benny how laid in a curled up ball on the couch, while Ethan was more propped up right rather than how he had begun which was slumped against my shoulder. Yet my hand still remained on his stomach.

I sighed, this was going to be a thought that plagued me as well, I knew it.  
It wasn't the fact that the child in there was mine either, it was the fact that Jesse had done it to him.  
Jesse had laid his hands on Ethan. Jesse had permanently fucked with Ethan's life.

These thoughts continued to penetrate my mind to the point I felt my blood beginning to boil again.

Slowly, I removed my arm from around the small, dark-haired boy and slowly I lifted myself off of the couch.  
Walking over and into the kitchen I went into one of the very bottom drawers of the counter, and dug out the box of emergency cigarettes and my pretty lighter.

Oh, yeah,  
smoking was another bad habit.

I walked out over into the little corridor before turning to the glass door that led outside. The air was cool, crisp. My footsteps were silent as I walked across the wood that made up the deck that took up a good portion of my backyard. There was no furniture that sat on the deck and therefore I simply sat on the dark, oak wood.

Without hesitation I opened up the package of cigarettes, pulled one out, stuck it between my teeth, and lit it. All in the matter of a second. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, watching as the silver smoke left my mouth.

As I continued to suck on the cancer stick, I continued to think.  
Literally every little thought about everything ever hit me,  
but this was nothing new.

I had almost grown numb to it.  
The key word though was almost.

I began to think about the little life Ethan was harboring now.  
I began to think about if we were to put up that little life up for adoption.

Would they end up like I did?  
Would they end up somewhere they could be happier than with us?

I began to think about how that little life was half of me.  
I began to think how awful that was.

If they were anything like me, they would end up like myself.

I began to think about how that little life was half of Ethan.  
I began to think how beautiful that was.

If they were anything like him, they were going to do so well in life.

With a heavy heart and trembling hands, I realized that in the midst of all this thinking. I had already smoked one full cigarette.  
With less of a heavy heart but equally trembling hands, I lit another.

With the burning butt of the other one, I ceased the fire on my hand.  
It burned, but it didn't hurt.

Sometimes, you didn't always feel pain.

With the heaviest of hearts, I felt the hair on the back of neck stand up. I turned my torso around to see that the glass door was opening. Yet, I didn't have time to destroy the vice of mine, therefore I just stuck it back into my mouth and sucked.

"Berlin, what the fuck are you doing?"

Of course, it would be none other than Benjamin Weir.

I stood to my feet and turned so that I face the light-haired boy. Even in the dark of the early morning, I could see his bright green eyes from a mile away. I watched as he stepped out of the shadows and closer to me. So close that he was a foot away.

I watched as his emerald eyes flickered to the torch still burning in my hand.

"I should've known. Damn it, Berlin." Benny growled.  
Ah, here it comes, I figured.

This wasn't the first time.  
Could you tell?

"Give it to me, Berlin." he demanded. I passed the burning cigarette to him.

And I jumped out of my skin as I watched him take a drag from it.

"What the fuck, Benny?" I questioned. He handed it back to me. I burned it out on my hand.

"See, it's not fun to watch someone you love do it to themselves is it?" he murmured darkly. I sighed and shook my head. I didn't want this right now. This wasn't something I wanted to deal with.

I narrowed my eyes at the light-haired boy, "Go back inside, Benjamin." I hissed.

"Why are you smoking, Berlin? It's bad enough that Ethan's pregnant, but now you're smoking again." the light-haired boy pointed out. I felt my eyes widen, did he really not know why I was smoking? I didn't want to be mad with Benny, but he was pushing me over the cliff.

"Why do you think I'm smoking, Benny? I'm smoking because Ethan's pregnant. I'm smoking because it's my fault. I wasn't there for him and now his life is basically ruined! Do you not understand the boy has never had pain like this? What if this completely destroys his mental health? I'm smoking because I'm worried. I'm worried about Ethan. I'm worried about you. I'm just a nervous wreck. Everyone's got a coping mechanism, love. Yours is humor and mine's smoking. But don't get at me because it's different from yours." I argued.

"I'm not getting mad at you because of that, I'm getting mad at you, because you know what you're doing to yourself but you continue to do it. You're hurting yourself, Berlin. Remember earlier this year when I became depressed and started cutting myself? You're doing the same fucking thing, just in a different way. It's hurting you and it's hurting me. It hurts me to see that you have so much hatred for yourself that you'll consciously hurt yourself. I don't want you to feel like that's the only way you can deal with your anxiety. You seemingly forget that I'm here. I'm here for you. That's the whole reason I'm here. I'm here to help you, because I love you so much, Berlin. I love you so much and I want to help you." as he told me his speech, his voice had gradually gone down into an almost whisper. His voice was so soft and calming. When I finally directed my gaze up at him from where it had rested on the ground, I found nothing but love and concern in those beautiful emerald eyes.

I suddenly felt all anger I felt for the boy melt away.  
Realization came back and I remembered just how precious Benny was.  
The boy was built for the soul purpose of helping,  
that's all he ever wanted to do.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as I felt him grab my hand, the one with all the burns on them.  
I could feel the sting from them.

I could feel.

His emerald eyes stared deep into mine.

"I love you, Berlin." he murmured.

"I love you too, Benjamin..even though it's just a friend way, because you love Sarah." I joked, attempting to cut through the serious atmosphere to destroy it.

"Well, actually... I cocked an eyebrow at the light-haired boy, but he didn't get to finish his sentence as I saw the glass door open. Out from the shadows stepped a very glassy-eyed Ethan.

"Benny? Bebe? What are you two doing out here?" his voice was crisp and raw, from just having woke up from sleep. I bit down on my lower lip and directed my gaze back up at Benny who gave me the same concerned expression.

I stepped forward, "It's nothing, Ethan. I was just out here for a minute because I couldn't sleep, then Benny came out here. Come on, let's go back inside." I told him, waving my hands to signal for him to get back into the house.

"What's wrong with your hand? And it smells weird out here..it smells like... - I watched as his sweet, pale face went from curious to shock and then to disappointment - smoke.." he finished, his voice soft.

"Berlin, you told me you weren't going to smoke anymore! How could you?! Why, Berlin?!" the dark-haired boy cried out, his pretty dark brown eyes glimmered with tears. I felt a heart string snap.

"Ethan, it's okay, don't worry. Everything's okay." I attempted at comforting him, I watched as his facial expression suddenly became angry.

"No! It's not okay! Berlin, do you not understand what you're doing to yourself? You're killing yourself. You're killing yourself very slowly, but you're still doing it! You're hurting yourself and it hurts me. And it's not only going to affect me now, but it's going to affect our child too. And I know you, Berlin, I know you would never purposely do anything that hurts Benny and I. So, please, all I ask is for you to stop. I ask for you to promise me you won't smoke anymore." Ethan's voice had grown from a roar to a simple mewl.

Without hesitation, I grabbed Ethan's hand with my burnt one, I felt him rub his thumb gently across the wounds located on my knuckles. The sting was no longer there.

"I promise, Ethan," I murmured. I moved up hand upward and wiped the tears away that had begun rolling down the dark-haired boy's beautiful pale face.

"I love you, Bebe." Ethan replied, he stepped forward, closing the little space between us, and pressing a kiss to my head.

"I love you too, Ethan." I whispered, I pushed myself onto my toes a bit and kissed his cheek.

"And I love you both," Benny input, he wrapped his arms around Ethan and mine's shoulders. The dark-haired boy and I told him we loved him too before we all turned towards the sky, watching as the sky was beginning to turn from a dark blue to a light green as the yellow rays of the sun began to mix with the blue.

I had a list of bad habits.  
Among those bad habits was smoking.  
Which lead to another string of bad habits.

Sometimes,  
fixing one thing you realize  
you've just now fixed many other things as well.


	7. Need Another Perfect Lie

The events that you have currently been informed about happened from Friday, April 17th to Sunday, April 19th.

I won't tell you about the rest of Sunday, though, because not much happened that day after what happened in the morning. We just kind of laid around at Berlin's.

Unfortunately, my symptoms got worse, but into the afternoon the sickness wears off, but there's still pain here and there.

I think I finally understand what Berlin gets on about when she's plagued by Satan's sacrificial waterfall.

Anyway, so, not much happened that Sunday. We stayed home, Berlin made food when it was requested. We watched I think just about everything on Netflix. Oh, and napped. We slept a lot that day too.

So, we'll continue the actual story on Monday, April 20th, because that's when things kicked off again.

We can never catch a break, huh?

* * *

The silence of the darkness was broken as sunlight began to filter in the room through the blinds as well as the small skylight window.

As well as the sound of the stupid, generic iPhone alarm.

I felt Berlin who slept to the right of me, shift for a moment before the iPhone alarm was shut off, but silence did not return as the faint sound of birds chirping was heard.

The warmth that existed to the right of me suddenly disappeared as I felt the bed shift as Berlin got out. Benny, however, shift closer to me; laying his head on my shoulder and wrapping his arms around me.

I watched in the dim light of the room as the shadowy figure moved from left to right, drawers were being pulled out and closed. I watched her silhouette begin to remove her clothes so that she could change into appropriate clothes for school.

Suddenly, I felt my stomach twist and I jumped out of the bed. Rushing over to the little trash can that sat beside the desk in Berlin's room. I retched up everything I had eaten the previous night. Immediately, I felt a small hand on my back rubbing across my shirt slowly.

Soon enough, the sickness dispelled once nothing was left inside of me. I felt the hand disappear from my back and heard the door open. I turned around and sat down on the white carpeted floor.

I watched as Berlin almost floated back into the room. The way the blue-haired girl walked was so quiet and graceful it was almost as if she were a ghost. In her hand she held a glass of water and a cap that belonged to her mouthwash.

She handed them off to me; I drank the water first and then washed my mouth with the mouthwash and spit the remains into the empty water cup.

"Thank you," I murmured to my companion, her light pink lips creased into a small smile before nodding her head and grabbing the cups out of my hand and setting them on her desk.

She then began to move about the room again and began digging in her drawers once more. I recognized the clothes she began to dig out: dark blue jeans and a dark purple long-sleeved shirt that belonged to Benny. And light blue jeans and a dark blue t-shirt that belonged to me. She set them on the bed, that the light-haired boy still remained in, his eyes closed and his mouth slightly ajar.

"Benny, Benny, wake up. We have to go to school," Berlin told him, shaking his shoulder slightly to wake him up.

The older boy slowly opened his emerald eyes and his mouth resonated a groan.

My insides twisted at the idea of school as well.

"I don't wanna go," Benny sighed, but he lifted himself into a sitting position; rubbing his eyes to get of the sleep in them.

"Come on, Benny, the sooner we get the sooner we can get through the day and we can go home." the blue-haired girl pointed out.

Benny rose out of the bed and gathered his clothes and began to change. I looked down at the clothes Berlin had picked out for me. I then looked down at my stomach. What if people could tell I was pregnant even without me showing? What if I had to throw up at school? What about Sarah and Erica? What would they think if they knew?

"What's wrong, E?" the light-haired boy questioned.

I sighed, "What if it's really apparent to some people that I'm pregnant?" I wondered in response.

"It won't be, Ethan, I can promise you that. I mean, sure, people always say someone is "glowing" when they're pregnant, but that doesn't happen immediately. Also you're not showing, and even if you have to be sick while at school no one will think you're pregnant. They'll just think you're sick, because male pregnancy while could be common among gay wizards, is not common in random cases." Berlin reassured me. I felt her come up behind me and hug me, her thin arms wrapped around me tightly. I smiled and I felt myself relax at the blue haired girl's words.

"Thank you, Berlin." I muttered.

"You're welcome," she whispered. I felt her press her lips against the back of my neck before releasing her hold on me.

I then began to change into my clothes for the day. Once we had all went and brushed our teeth; gathering our things into our book bags, we made our way out the door to school.

The three of us stood at our lockers situating stuff we needed for the day.

"Hey you guys," Sarah's familiar, chipper voice sounded from behind us; we all whipped around to look at the dark-haired girl with smiles and we greeted her the same.

"How are you, Ethan?" Sarah wondered, her dark hazel eyes filled with the utmost concern. I had seemingly forgot that she was present that night in the forest.

In all honesty, I wanted to tell her. I just wanted to flat out tell her the entirety of the situation. But I knew that right then was not the best time.

"I'm good, I don't hurt anymore." I lied and for a moment I watched her eyes narrow as if she were scanning me like a robot, scanning me for what was really the truth. But then she gave me a smile and I knew I had fooled her.

"That's good," she purred and nodded her head. Before another conversation could be started the bell rang and we began to walk to our respected classes.

I didn't have Benny or Berlin or Sarah in my first class, which was Geometry, but I did have Erica. Whom I sat next to, because despite how she tended to treat me when in front of all our other friends. She could be nice, she just liked to keep it between us though. I didn't mind it though.

"Hey Erica," I greeted her as I sat down in the desk to her right.

"Don't talk to me, nerd." Erica hissed playfully but flashed me a smile. I smiled at her as well.

I then watched as she turned to face me and she stared into my eyes with her bright hazel ones.

Her eyes were first filled with something that looked like confusion. Then they widened with surprise and finally with concern.

"Ethan -

My heart stopped,

but luckily before she could finish her statement the bell rang signaling class had begun.

And I thanked every deity out there.

As class was beginning to end I could feel Erica's light vampire-esque orbs on me. I knew she wanted to talk to me. But I didn't want her to. I could feel her question baring down on her but I didn't want to know what it was. So, as soon as the bell rang and I left the room as quick as possible.

Second, third, and the first part of fourth went as smoothly. Second period was History, and I was accompanied by Benny in that class. Third period I didn't have anyone, but in fourth (which was English) I had Berlin.

Soon enough it was lunch, but my stomach still detested against eating therefore I went and sat at the table while Benny, Sarah, and Berlin grabbed their food.

I watched as a shadowy figure moved quickly and sat down in front of me and it gave me a start. I looked up completely to see that it was none other than Erica.

"I have several things to say to you, Ethan Morgan. First of all, how dare you you just leave me like that in Geometry. Second of all, what happened exactly this weekend? Sarah told me about Jesse and the encounter you guys had with him in the forest, but she didn't give great detail. What happened, because something is not right with you." Erica explained quickly.

I held my breath. One thought kept replaying in my head: she knew. She knew. She knew. She completely and totally knew I was pregnant...

"Erica, what the fuck did you say to him?" Berlin's voice was sharp and stiff, not to be mean, I knew, but to be stern and protective.

"I was just asking him about this weekend, why do you guys keep trying to hide details that I know are there?!" Erica questioned, her voice pitched with exasperation.

I turned to look up at Berlin, who stood beside me, one hand of hers was on my shoulder. I watched her black pupils widen. Her honey brown eyes connected with mine and I could see it, she was asking me if I wanted to tell her.

And in all honesty, I did, I wanted to let Erica know just like I wanted to let Sarah know, but I definitely didn't feel as though then was the right time.

I opened my mouth to begin to speak, but suddenly the lights in the cafeteria shut off. Students screamed and doors slammed shut. And the air became colder than it already was.

We could never catch a break.


	8. This is A Warning

"Are you fucking kidding?" Berlin cried out, I felt her hand tense up on my shoulder, almost as if she were telling me to stay seated.

We watched as Benny suddenly moved from where he stood beside the blue-haired girl and rushed over to the doors that had been slammed shut.

Surprisingly enough, they opened.

He looked as though he was going to beckon us to him, but then a high pitched noise sounded from above us.

It was the sound the intercom made when it was being turned on.

"No, no, see the doors are opened, but leave and you've just doomed yourself and everyone else in that room." The voice was masculine, and was tauntingly familiar, but my mind failed to put it with a face or name.

We watched as Benny closed the door slowly and moved back over to where we stood.

"Sure, only a fair amount of people have done me wrong at this school, but unfortunately that means you've all got to pay the price." the mysterious voice declared.

"Your end will come in the next hour, but if anyone leaves or attempts to, will quicken it." the presumable male added.

The high-pitched noise occurred once more as the intercom was turned off.

Before anyone could so much take a breath, Berlin slammed her hands on the table; turning our attention to her.

"I know who that is, he's nothing supernatural, just mentally fucked up. We need to take care of him immediately, Benny and Erica I want you two to come with me. Sarah, I want you to stay here with Ethan." the blue-haired girl ordered.

I narrowed my eyes up at Berlin, how dare she think she was going to stop someone without my help.

"I'm not staying here, I'm going with you." I informed her.

I watched as she dug into her bag and pulled out one of her black pistols. I watched as she loaded it up. Then in one fluid motion, Berlin shot all four corners of the room as well as the center, because that's where cameras were located.

"You're not coming, Ethan, I'll die before I let you do something like this. Especially right now." she growled. Even in the dark, her honey brown eyes glimmered like the flames of a raging fire.

I didn't care if she was angered with me though, I wanted to protect her as much as she wanted to protect me.

I wasn't going to let her do this.

"Berlin, I'm not going to let you do this without me." I barked. I watched as her honey-brown eyes narrowed they flickered as if they held a million twinkling lights inside. They were filled with an intensity of protectiveness I had never seen before, it unnerved me a bit.

She stepped closer to me, as close as we could be without us touching. I felt her hand grip my shirt; her balled up fist rested right on my stomach.

"Have you seemingly forgotten just exactly what you're holding? Seemingly forgotten that what's in there is ours? If you think for one second I would let you come with us to fight you would be dead ass wrong. I'm not letting you get hurt again." Berlin hissed, before I could reply she let go of my shirt and pressed a kiss to my cheek before rushing over to the back wall of the cafeteria where a vent was located. She got a chair and stood upon it; I watched as she grabbed the vent by its bars and wiggled it until it came out of the wall.

"Hey," I heard Benny murmur from in front of me; I turned my head so I now looked up at the green-eyed boy.

"I know Berlin can be really intense sometimes, but she just wants to be safe. And I agree with her, you shouldn't be out there with us. It's better for both of you if you just stayed here, okay? I promise we'll be back soon," the light-haired boy attempted to reassure me, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the cheek opposite of the one Berlin kissed.

"Come on!" Erica and Berlin barked at Benny, the two girls stood underneath the vent. I watched as his curls bounced around as he went to join them. I watched as the three of them climbed into the vent and disappeared.

I sighed and felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see that it was Sarah with her kind eyes. They held so much sympathy in them I drowned in it. I turned my attention back to the gaping hole in the wall...

My brain cried, "No, don't do it, Berlin said no. Don't do it." but every nerve in my body cried, "Do it, you need to help protect them, go protect them!"

I listened to the nerves.

I sprinted towards the vent, I heard Sarah shout from behind me, but it was too late. I had already succeeded in jumping onto the chair and into the vent. However, before I could get very far into the ventilation I was once again joined by Sarah.

"What the fuck, Ethan?!" Sarah growled, her hand was grasped on my ankle, keeping me from crawling any further. I shifted myself so that I was sitting and I could look at the dark-haired girl.

"I have to go and help Benny and Berlin!" I growled. It was irritating, all I wanted to do was help my friends, just because I was pregnant did not make me completely useless.

"Ethan, Berlin told you to stay -

"Sarah, we're already in the ventilation! We might as well go and help them!" I cut her off. I wanted as her facial expression first became exhausted, but then changed into one of understanding.

With a nod of her head, we began to crawl through the dark, metal tunnels once more.

Off in the, not so far away, distance there was the sound of another vent being opened up. Then there was the sound of thudding, the sound of bodies falling, but not necessarily falling limp.

Soon enough, we reached another opened vent. I peered around it's corner that it was the principal's office; Erica, Benny, and Berlin stood in a line. There attention entirely focused on the enemy in front of them. Erica's fangs were bared, Benny held out his spellbook, and Berlin held onto her black pistol with her finger on the trigger.

"You can either put your weapon down, I can call the fucking police, and have you institutionalized. Or we can take care of you ourselves." Berlin snarled.

There was silence,  
except in my ears I could hear my heart pounding away.

I watched as the hooded teenager pulled out a shot gun from inside his long, black coat. He loaded it slowly.

Without hesitation, I jumped out of the vent and landed right behind Berlin.

"Ethan!" Erica screamed, her now bright green vampire eyes shimmered with anger and protectiveness. I got up off the floor and stood in front of Berlin, blocking her since I was thankfully taller than her.

"Ethan! What the fuck are you doing here!? You were supposed to stay with Sarah!" Berlin cried out, I could hear Sarah jump down from the vent as well; she went to stand beside Erica.

I could see some details to the attacker's face. He was pale skinned, blond curly hair strands stuck out from underneath the hood, and he had an almost distressed look upon his face.

"I dare you, I dare you fucking try and hurt them. You can kill me, but I can drag you to Hell where you belong." I challenged. I braced myself for him to raise his shotgun to prepare to shoot me dead, but it never happened.

I watched as he removed his hood from his head, his dark brown eyes were exposed, and surprisingly did not show blood thirst within them. In fact, they showed empathy.

He stepped out from behind the desk and I watched from behind me as Berlin's arm shot up to get ready to fire, but the blond-haired boy held up his hand as if telling her stop.

He then stood in front of me.

There was an eerie knowing about him, but I didn't feel threatened by him.

"Are you...?" his voice was low but soft. Eerily comforting. I cocked my eyebrow in confusion at his question as it was incomplete, I watched as his brown eyes flickered from my stomach back up into mine.

I then watched his lips move but no sound come out: " _pregnant_ "

My heart stopped,  
how could he have known?  
Him of all people.

I nodded my head in response.

The blond-haired boy gave me a small, sad smile and stuck out his hand; indicating for me to hold it.  
With hesitation at first, I then grabbed a hold of it, and was overcome with a vision...

 _The blond-haired boy stood in front of a ginger-haired girl who almost towered over him in height. She had a mean looking face and the devilish smile on her face didn't help._

 _"Why did you do this to me?" The blond-haired boy questioned, tears in his eyes._

 _"You were asking for it," the ginger-haired girl purred._

 _The vision flashed forward to the blond-haired boy staring at himself in the mirror, his stomach slightly protruding. The boy sighed and pulled on a black shirt over his head, the bump wasn't visible anymore._

 _The vision flashed once more to the blond-haired boy standing at his locker. The ginger-haired girl stood a little ways away at her own locker with a black-haired girl standing next to her._

 _"Yeah...I'm pregnant.." the ginger-haired girl murmured sadly, but when her friend wasn't looking she shot a glance at the blond-haired boy at his locker. The same devilish grin on her face._

 _"The father isn't going to help out either, he doesn't want anything to do with me he says.." the girl continued on with her act._

 _The vision flashed forward to the blond-haired boy holding a baby, that had blond hair like him but shared the same eyes with ginger-haired girl..._

I shook my head once the vision disappeared.  
The blond-haired boy had been done wrong to...just like I had.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

The blond-haired boy shook his head.

"It's okay, I'm sorry that you have to go through the same thing, but clearly you have friends that will help you out. Which is good. I'm sorry for what I've done, but I will be on my way." he whispered in response.

We all watched as he simply walked over to the desk, pressed a few buttons before leaving the room.

There was silence before...

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?"

I honestly did not know Berlin could be that loud.

"First, you fucking disobey me. You did exactly what you were not supposed to do! Then you just fucking waltz in here and somehow have this connection with this guy then he just leaves! Just leaves out of the fucking blue! Like o fucking kay that's not how this works!" Berlin snapped.

Her honey-brown eyes were blazing and she was so angry she was shaking.

"Berlin, hey, Berlin, please calm down.." I murmured, putting my hands on her shoulders.

"Do not touch me, Ethan Morgan! Do you know how much danger you put the both of you in?!" Berlin hissed.

"Berlin!" I shouted and I watched as the blue-haired girl became still. I held my hands firmly on her shoulders.

"Berlin, I'm fine. We're fine. Everything's fine. Nothing happened. Everything's okay." I told her softly, hoping to comfort her. I watched as her honey-brown eyes that once were a raging wildfire suddenly turned into an ocean as tears welled up in her eyes.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again, I don't want to let you get hurt again. I just want you to be safe." her voice was now so quiet that I was pretty sure I was the only one who could hear her.

A few tears had managed to escape her eyes, but quickly I brushed my thumb across her cheek to wipe them away.

"I know, Berlin, I know, and I promise I won't do it again. I promise." I claimed, pulling her close to me; she buried her face into my shoulder as we hugged. Soon enough, I watched as Benny joined and wrapped his arms around Berlin and I.

We stood there for a while until:

"Ethan, you still have yet to tell me exactly what happened." Erica stated from where she stood with Sarah.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to feel like there's more to the story than when I was present." Sarah pointed out, crossing her arms against her chest identical to Erica's stance.

The three of us stopped hugging one another and shared nervous looks.


	9. Accept What Can't Be Controlled

It wasn't that I didn't think Ethan couldn't protect himself anymore.  
It was that I had already failed once at protecting him, and now he was in  
a situation far bigger than anything he's ever dealt with.

Unfortunately,  
to me, it's not just about protecting him in battle.  
It's not just about protecting him from the monsters that are forever around.

To me it means a lot more.  
Unfortunately.

I was being an unnecessary knight,  
that wasn't even dressed in shining armor.

And I'm lucky enough that Ethan's so understanding,  
and didn't immediately tell me to piss off.

It wasn't that I didn't think he couldn't protect himself anymore.  
It was the fact I had already failed once at protecting him, and now he was  
pregnant with my child.

I had two people to worry about.  
I was an unnecessary knight not even dressed in shining armor.

Apparently, that included making decisions for Ethan..

* * *

I looked at the dark-haired boy, his dark brown eyes shimmering with concern. I could tell he was torn between attempting to keep the whole situation hidden until he was actually comfortable sharing it and telling them immediately because they were his friends.

I watched him turn towards the two girls and open his mouth, but before he could speak. I spoke for him:

"We'll tell you another time, okay? We really need to get going, but I promise we will tell you later." I replied, before anyone could remotely even think of replying, I grabbed a hold of Ethan's hand and drug him out of the room with Benny following behind us.

Ethan allowed me to lead him all the way until we were outside of the school building before he yanked his hand out of mine. His dark brown eyes connected with mine and there was a small spark of anger, but most of the emotion in them was taken up by surprise.

"What the fuck, Berlin?" Ethan hissed, "Don't you think it should be a decision we make together on whether we tell them or not?!" he continued.

"Ethan, we haven't even talked about anything like that. We haven't talked about telling Sarah or Erica, for fuck's sake we haven't talked about telling your parents yet. Do you realize this?" I questioned, "I'm trying to do what I think is best right now, okay? Just trust me." I defended.

I watched as the spark of anger in his eyes faded away, his shoulders heaved up and down as he sighed, "I trust you," he responded.

"Where do we go from here?" Benny wondered.

"Home," I stated simply, as if there was not a different option for us, and in an actual sense there wasn't.

The two boys nodded their heads and we began to make our way home.

* * *

The sun was still quite high within the sky, as the whole school situation had concurred at lunch, and lunch occurred at twelve. It was only around 1:30 when we returned to my house.

I struck the key into the keyhole and unlocked the door, pushing open the door, I noticed that a figure stood in the living room. At first, I refused to move from in front of the door, not wanting Benny or Ethan to go in further. However, the silhouette was recognizable and after a moment, I had assessed exactly who it was.

Sometimes, you forget that stuff still exists outside of your current situation.  
Like adults that are responsible for your friend.

"Berlin, can you move the fuck inside, oh my God!" Benny hissed, pushing past me to go into the house. I shook my head, because he didn't know.

"Grandma!" I heard him shriek, with a roll of my eyes I finally stepped into the house; allowing Ethan to follow behind before I closed the door behind us. We moved slowly into the living room where Benny now stood beside Evelyn, or Grandma Weir.

"W-what are you doing here?" Benny questioned, anyone could see from a mile away the fear that he held in his emerald green eyes.

"Don't you start asking me questions, Benjamin, because I have a million and one to ask you. First of all, it's 1:40 why are you three home? Second of all, Benny, you come home on Sundays. Sundays. What's today? Monday." the gray-haired woman hissed.

I gritted my teeth together, sure, we could hold off on telling Erica and Sarah the truth, they were more easily fooled, but there was no getting past Evelyn. If we dared to open our mouths to speak a lie she would be able to tell before a single sound could be formed.

I watched as Benny flickered his gaze over to me, his deep green eyes glimmering with the question 'truth or lie?'. I directed my gaze over to the smaller of the two boys, his dark hair almost covering his eyes that begged for him to be removed from not just the situation, but just entirely. They pleaded to disappear.

The silence that had unknowingly settled in the room became painful, as if pins and needles were being ever so slightly stabbed into my skin.

I stepped forward.

"Ethan's pregnant," I admitted. I shifted my gaze from the surprised facial expression of Grandma Weir to the depressed facial expression of Ethan. It broke my heart, or what little pieces of my heart that were left.

"I don't understand, well, I mean I do. I just don't understand how you could make that big of an accident." Evelyn groaned. I felt my blood begin to burn, for a reason I was not entirely sure of, but I suddenly felt defensive.

"It wasn't an accident, Ethan was...basically raped. We had a run in with the vampires again, Jesse made a fertility potion and struck Ethan with it. I'm assuming for the purpose of ruining our lives from a different perspective, but anyway. It wasn't an accident, it was purposefully done. Evilly, purposefully done." I explained sternly.

I watched as the Earth Priestess's shocked facial expression become one of hurt.

"I'm...I'm absolutely appalled at hearing this...Ethan, I'm so sorry." she murmured, before stepping forward and enveloping the small, dark-haired boy into an embrace. The two of them hugged for a minute or two before she stepped back so that her eyes could be on all of us. Her green eyes, similar to her grandson's, but lighter, focused upon me.

"And I'm sorry for assuming it was an accident caused." Evelyn added, I shrugged my shoulders, "It's fine." I purposed. A mistake that although had been hard to take, was easy to forgive.

"How did you even come to find out it was a fertility potion?" she wondered.

"I just sort of pieced things together, Benny performed the detection spell that confirmed it." I mused, the Spellmaster and I shared a glance. I hoped I had conveyed that I was proud of him, because I really was. Often times, the light-haired boy's magic did not work as planned, and sure, we liked to joke about how it almost always failed, but I did know that it bothered him copiously. Therefore I wanted to make sure he knew I was proud of him, to encourage him.

"You know, I always told him if he just focused a little more, he'd get them right. Of course, heroes always seem to show themselves when the people they love most are in the utmost danger." Evelyn praised.

"Do you know where you're going to go from here?" she questioned. I looked back over at Ethan, in that moment I watched as his blank, but listening dark brown eyes flashed with a glaze that almost symbolized that he had become overcome with a sickness. He felt nauseated, and I knew it was not the morning sickness.

I nearly turned back to the older woman and gave her an answer, but I stopped myself. I had basically spoken for Ethan all day. And why? Because I wanted to protect him, even if it was simply from the pressure of answering questions.

Therefore I simply turned my gaze towards him once more and waited for him to speak.

"I haven't decided yet," he breathed, he was struggling to do just that..breathe. He needed to breathe. I walked over to him and grabbed a hold of his hand, he locked his gaze with mine. I could see the reflection of my honey-brown ones in his. They swirled together and created a beautiful gold mixture, that resembled the color of an amber gemstone. I mouthed to him, "One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four." counting to help him get his breathing back in line.

"That's okay, you've got a while to think about it, dear." Grandma Weir comforted. We turned to her once more. Her gaze, however, was more focused on Benny now.

"I just wanted to see as to why you hadn't returned home yet, but I can see now that it was an important reason as to why. You don't have to come back home, just yet, but please come home at some point this week..okay?" she proposed. Benny nodded his head.

"I'll be leaving now, take care of yourselves, children. Remember, I'm just a few blocks away." Evelyn advised, she headed towards the door and we all trailed after her. We murmured our 'we will's and our goodbyes before I slowly shut the door behind the gray-haired woman.

I turned back to the light-haired boy and the dark-haired one.

"We clearly have somethings we need to talk about," I admitted. The two of them nodded their heads.

"First and foremost, why do you keep trying to answer for me? Because I'm pregnant, suddenly means I can't make decisions for myself?" Ethan snapped, as quiet and as shy as the boy was, I always seemingly forgot that he often did bark even if there wasn't exactly any bite.

"I just don't want you stressing, that's all." I pointed out, which was entirely the truth. I just wanted to protect Ethan, I wanted to protect him from everything. Whether it was physical pain or emotional.

I watched as the dark-haired boy's shoulders heaved up and down as he breathed out.

"Berlin, you can't protect me from everything. I know you want to know, and I know you hate that you can't, but you can't protect from emotions. I'm going to feel stressed and I'm going to feel sad, there's a lot going on right now. But you can't protect me from those things. And I don't need you to, I just need you here. I just need you to be here and continue being the angel that you already are." Ethan spoke.

It was my turn to breathe a heavy sigh, because of course, all along I knew I really couldn't protect him like that. I knew that, it was just buried deep beneath the need I had to protect him from everything that could possibly harm him. I just excused it, but of course that wasn't appropriate.

I felt a hand suddenly reach out for mine and hold it gently. I glanced upwards and saw that familiar, loving dark brown colored gaze. With a heavy heart, but knowing that what I wanted so badly was illogical, I simply nodded my head in agreement to what my companion had said.

A question entered my mind and sent a chill down my back.

"So, you did want to tell Erica and Sarah? You want to tell them now?" I asked.

Ethan bit down on his lower, pink lip and held a thoughtful expression. Soon enough, however, it turned into one of knowing.

"I think we should tell them soon, it doesn't necessarily have to be tomorrow, it can be later this week. But I don't want to wait, I don't think it'd be fair to them to wait until the last possible minute to tell them." he mused.

I nodded my head, "It's whatever you want to do, Ethan. You're the one primarily affected by this situation, and you should get to dictate on what happens." I claimed. His dark hair moved slightly as he nodded his head.

"Does that mean you want to tell your parents soon too?" I questioned, immediately, Ethan shook his head. "I'm not ready to tell them yet, not in the slightest bit," he muttered. I nodded my head in understanding.

"I have a question now," Benny interjected for the first time during the conversation. We both turned to the light-haired boy.

"What exactly happened back there? You know, with that guy who was trying to shoot up the school?" he asked. I gritted my teeth together before turning my eyes to the smaller boy.

I knew him, the blond-haired boy who had tried to kill everyone in the school. His name was Adrian, and he was not treated greatly. He lived alone, because like me, he didn't have a good home life and decided to move away. Lots of people at Whitechapel bullied him. At on point or another he was dating this girl, one of the meanest girls in school, Clara. A beautiful girl with striking almost yellow-like eyes and reddish-brownish hair. The rumor in the halls was that he had gotten her pregnant and that he didn't stay with her, but I had never believed it. Something just seemed off about it.

"He...he was pregnant too. I guess he could tell I was, but I don't know how he knew I was a Seer. Because he immediately grabbed my hand and I saw visions. Longer visions than usual. One was of him and this redheaded girl. He was asking her why, why she had done this to him. She told him he was asking for it. Another one was of him listening, listening to a conversation between the redheaded girl and her friend, I'm assuming. She was telling her that she was pregnant and that the father was sticking around to help. The last one was of him holding a blonde-haired baby, a boy. Who had his hair color, but he had the girl's eyes." Ethan explained.

The pieces had now fallen into their correct places on the puzzle.

"That's awful, I wonder if she's related to Jesse because they're both the scum of the Earth." Benny growled with a roll of his emerald eyes. I watched as Ethan walked over and placed a comforting hand over Benny's.

"I mean sure, it's not as common as for women to be, but boys can be...rape victims too..it's just this is a different kind, an almost impossible kind, but magic makes it possible. It's sickening, but there's not much to do. You can't get rid of magic." I sighed.

"Life would be a lot simpler if we weren't special, huh?" Benny groaned, shaking his head.

I smirked, because I wasn't special. I didn't possess any special abilities like Benny, Ethan, or the rest of Whitechapel did. I was just a normal human being who decided Whitechapel was the place to be. Then decided that getting wrapped up in the boy who lived next door was a good idea too. I was just a normal girl who got herself caught up in some freaky shit.

"What's that face for?" the light-haired boy questioned, with a cocked eyebrow in my direction. I just gave him a small smile and shook my head.

"I am sorry, but I am tired of standing, oh my God, my knees are killing me!" Ethan stated exasperatedly, throwing his arms up into the air in defeat as he walked over to the couch and slumped down into it.

Benny and I shared a simultaneous eye roll before joining our dark-haired boy, I sat to his right and Benny sat on the other side of me. I grabbed the remote and put it on the Destination channel which was currently showing Ghost Adventures, just something for background noise.

That was until a small, growl interrupted the silence between us; Benny and I turned towards Ethan who's cheeks had gone a light pink.

"Can we eat?" he asked, I laughed and nodded my head; I stood up to begin walking to the kitchen but then turned back to the boys that sat on the couch.

"Why don't we go out to eat? You know? We can go to that diner that's downtown." I suggested.

"Fuck yeah, man, I'm in." the taller of the two boys replied happily, standing up.

"Are we going to walk? Because if so, the answer is no." Ethan murmured, crossing his arms against his chest.

"We can take my car," I commented.

"Please, and thank you." the dark-haired boy declared as he removed himself off the couch and we walked over to the door; I opened it and allowed them to go ahead of me.

"Anything for you, princess." I giggled; he tossed back a dark brown glare but it had a hint of humor.

What used to be a van when I had moved to Whitechapel was now a truck with just front seats, perfectly built for the three of us. We all climbed in and I started it up.

It was a peaceful ending to a rather stressful day.


	10. Everything is Gray

Berlin liked art, she liked to draw and paint.

She lived alone, and the house she owned had three bedrooms. So, the room closest to the living room was her bedroom, another room that was on the other side of the wall of her bedroom was a sort of office area. With a desk and office chair, there was also a small wooden piano that sat in there.

On the other side of the living room, there was another door that lead to a larger room. This was her art room. White tarp covered the white carpet. On the left side of the white-walled room was filled with photos. Some of them were glossy, professional-looking photos taken with a proper camera. Some of them were those small Polaroid photos. There were photos of the sky and there were photos of the playground not far from our houses. There were photos of Benny and I. There were photos of Berlin smoking. As much as I hated her smoking, she made it look pretty.

The right side of the room was all of her paintings, her drawings. A lot of her paintings consisted of just streaks of colors that looked like they were just randomly put together and sometimes, they didn't look that great together.

But I knew these works of art, Berlin called them: "Day by Day," and it was a series of paintings (a continuous series, but with no true pattern) where she would paint how she felt throughout the day, because Berlin thought that that's how days proceeded. What was the color in the morning was not going to be the color in the evening. What color that was yesterday wasn't going to be the color of tomorrow.

And I liked that belief,  
I believed it too.

The previous day had ended beautifully.  
There was happiness, and a hint of hope that things weren't always going to be so poorly.  
It was like a pastel yellow to me.

However,  
yesterday's color wasn't going to be the color of tomorrow.

Sometimes, I forgot that.

* * *

If Berlin's alarm hadn't gone off that morning, we would have never woken up. There was no sunlight that sneakily crept in through the blinds of the blue-haired girl's room. It was almost dark enough that we could have mistaken it for simply being night.

The smallest one beside me stirred ever so slightly, as if not to wake me up quite then, even though I was indeed already awakened. How couldn't I be? The alarm was the loudest and most annoying thing.

I watched as she walked around the room, almost pacing, but I could tell that she was just trying to remember what she was doing. She went into her dresser drawers to pull out a pair of black skinny jeans and then walked to her closet to grab a black long-sleeved shirt and a white jacket that used to be mine. Quickly, she removed the clothes she slept in and dressed herself for the day.

She then climbed back into bed,  
which wasn't unlike her. Berlin liked to do this whole 'get-dressed-really-fast-so-I-can-get-back-into-bed' thing. At first, I didn't understand it, because that just got her clothes wrinkled, but then I tried it and I realized it felt great to just lay back down in the morning.

Once the blue-haired girl had climbed into bed next to me, she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer to her tiny form. She buried her face into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her.

I felt her run her hand across my stomach and then begin to run across my lower back.

Berlin was just a very comforting person, every touch she was gentle and caring.

Soon enough, however, she moved away and got out of bed once more.

"Come on, you two, you need to wake up." she informed us as she moved across the room, gathering this and that and shoving it into her school bag.

"Can we just, like, not today?" Benny groaned, I turned to look at the brunet-haired boy and held back a laugh. His curls were tossed in many different directions. His green eyes flickered open for a moment before they quickly closed, blocking out the world.

"I'm afraid not, my dear." Berlin murmured. She walked over to her desk in the corner of her room and flicked on the lamp, yellow artificial lighting filled the gray room.

"What about a mental health day? Can we take a mental health day?" he questioned. Mental health days were days Berlin, Benny, and I didn't attend school. If we were in really bad shape from an event, then we wouldn't go.

"No, not today, I think we're going to need to save those up..." the blue-haired girl sighed as she sat on top of her desk. Her elbows rested on her thighs and her chin rested on her hands. Her honey-brown eyes glimmered with an almost unreadable expression. It was sadness mixed with something, but I couldn't tell what that something was exactly.

I pulled myself into a sitting position before pulling myself away from the bed. I walked over to where my companion sat. Her fingers moved nervously across one another, picking at the cuticles on them. Another habit of hers, but not as bad (unless she did it so much she bled).

"Hey, Berlin." I stated, she lifted her head up and stared into my eyes.

"What's wrong?" I wondered, I watched as the unreadable emotion in her eyes melted away to show more, but before I could get a good look she simply smiled and shook her head. Her right hand extended outwards and she brushed her fingers across my face.

"Nothing's wrong, Ethan. I promise. I'm just tired, that's all." Berlin admitted, I narrowed my eyes and furrowed my brows. I've heard this phrase before, and it never means what it says.

"Don't lie to me, Berlin." I hissed, not harshly, just firmly. I didn't want her to think she could just lie to me now, to keep me from worrying about her.

"I'm not lying, I promise. I'm just tired." the blue-haired girl affirmed her previous statement. A spark was lit in her eyes, a simple flicker of a flame, she was getting mad. With a sigh, I decided that this was battle I didn't want to mess with at the moment.

"Okay," I whispered, but continued with: "I love you," her light pink lips turned upwards into a small smile.

"I love you too," Berlin replied sweetly and softly.

The sound of drawers being opened brought us back into reality; we turned to see Benny digging out of the drawer that had most of his clothes. He pulled out a dark blue sweater and dark washed jeans.

"I love you, Benny." the honey-brown-eyed girl said loudly to the brunet boy who had begun to take off his pajama pants.

"I love you too, Berlin." he responded, his pink lips also upturned in a smile.

"I love you, Ethan." Benny told me.

"I love you too," I purred as I walked over to the same dresser and pulled out the drawer with most of my clothes in it, and picked out my outfit for the oddly, dreary day. The first in a while, since February in fact.

* * *

The rain outside that day made us pile into Berlin's truck and drive to school, otherwise we would have walked liked usual. The radio was turned up, but the song that came on was quite soft. The car ride to the school was filled with silence, not necessarily an uncomfortable one, but it was an..odd one. It was an unfamiliar one.

Soon enough, we pulled up to Berlin's usual parking space which was in the front parking lot. Yet, before we parked, something caught our attention. The blaring lights of red, blue, and white colors.

There was an ambulance outside the school as well as a police car, and there were paramedics and policemen surrounding one of the trees that littered the front of the school building. Students off to the side seemed to be, for once, silent.

A silence that was violent.

Berlin turned to Benny and I with a confused facial expression, in one fluid motion, she turned off her car and jumped out of it. Not even gathering her book bag. We did the same.

Benny and I watched as Berlin rushed forward and into the crowd of students, she was speaking to a dark brunet-haired girl. At first the two of them were making a ton of hand gestures and motions to one another before the blue-haired girl became still. As if she were suddenly turned into a statue.

She nodded to her friend before turning away from her, she looked as though she was going to begin walking towards us, but instead she ran towards the paramedics who stood at the ambulance.

Berlin started talking to the adults, her mouth moved frantically as if she wasn't able to get the words out fast enough. She was visibly shaking. I tugged on Benny's sleeve to signal him to begin walking towards our friend.

With one last word to the adults, she turned her back to them and began walking towards us to meet us in the middle.

"Berlin, what is it? What's wrong? What happened?" Benny questioned rapidly, her honey-brown eyes shimmered with emptiness. As if her soul had been ripped from her body.

"Adrian. Adrian committed suicide. He hung himself from that tree." she informed us, pointing back with her finger at the tree that everyone once surrounded. The noose still hung from the branch.

"He's been there all night, they've said. He was so cold when they found, they said." the blue-haired girl shuddered. Her skin was as white as a ghost, so pale she stood out against the gray background behind her like a black ink dot on a large white canvas. She looked like she was going to be sick.

"I asked if they knew what they did with his son, they didn't even know he had a son, they said they were going to head to his apartment now to see. What if his son's still alive? They can't put his son in an adoption center right? We have to go there now. We can't just let them put his son away somewhere. We need to go." the blue-haired girl urged.

If you asked me for one thing I loved about Berlin, it was her heart of gold. She wasn't supernaturally special, but by God was her instinct to care and love so strong it should be considered supernatural.

Yet, I didn't know how good of an idea it was to do such a thing..

"I don't know, Berlin. I don't think we should intervene..I don't think that's good for anyone of us at this point." I pointed out.

"Adrian would have done the same for you, Ethan. He would've went for your child. I know he would have. Also, you're so keen on keeping our child, but you're going to let them take his to an orphanage? After what happened yesterday, after what you saw, how can you just let that happen? Because I sure as hell can't." Berlin barked.

"You don't have to come with me, I can go alone, but I'm going to see what happened to that child whether you like it or not." she continued.

"Berlin, I just don't know that this is your battle to fight." I attempted to reason with her.

"Ethan, it's going to kill me if I don't find out what happened to that baby. I need to know, and I need to get there before they do in case the baby is still alive. I'm doing this, Ethan, I need to do this. So, are you in or are you out?" Berlin asked.

I tossed my glance from the blue-haired girl to the brunet-haired boy, his expression was firm, but his eyes glittered with small pieces of love. Her stubbornness to help, to take everyone else's bullets for her own, was something admirable and lovable.

"We're in," Benny answered, his green eyes now lit with flames of determination that matched Berlin's.

The girl tossed her head towards the adults now getting into their respected cars.

"We better get a move on then." she commanded before turning and running to her truck. We followed just as quickly after her, all of us jumped into the truck in unison, and in another swift motion she turned on the car and began to pull out of the parking lot.

As we began to drive away from the school and to Adrian's apartment, I watched the dark gray sky.

Funny how the sky reflected that day.


End file.
